Whenever one of my animal companions have had to leave this world, I have assisted them to the best of my ability - whether the vet(erinarian) had to 'put them to sleep', or whether they wanted to go through the process themselves.
Either way they have departed from home, and I have driven each one of them off to the crematorium in their bed/basket with their belongings, along with a deep red rose. I have had them cremated, and their ashes scattered to the winds on the deep blue sea.
After, I have always said my goodbyes by sending up balloons upon which I had written my Love, my thanks, and my best wishes and hopes for them. Before their cremation I used to 'do the Egyptian Death Ceremony' - the weighing of their hearts etc. (from the Egyptian Book of Dead). That was my way.
This time, when SheRa made me aware of that her time was neigh, she wanted things her way. That was a big challenge for me and really hurtful, but I managed to let go of my wish to control in order to protect her.
She was suffering a hormonal imbalance - her thyroid and her pancreas were over reactive, causing an eating disorder. No matter how much she ate, she kept getting thinner and thinner.
I knew the time for her departure was approaching, and I asked her if she would need help for the crossing over. She said clearly NO. I told her that I accepted whatever way she wanted to go.
On the day of her departure I just knew that today was the day. She stayed indoors, and she was looking at me with that special loving, embracing look in her bright eyes. I cannot recall how many times I kissed the white bliss on her forehead - and her ears. I knew she stayed in for me - to spend her final hours with me. She saw that I understood, and she 'told' me, that this time she would have to go.
(She was referring to another time, when she had eaten poison from a neighbour's garden. She came running in and straight upstairs under our bed. I instantly knew something was not right, so I ran upstairs. I could see her light diminishing, and the light in her eyes was almost gone.
While tears were pouring from my eyes I told her, that if her time was now I would accept and let her go, but if not, then I begged her to stay with me and tell what I could do for her. She needed Rescue Remedies, and Silly Marin (liver detox). I instantly gave her the Rescue Remedy, and ran downstairs to get the Sillymarin which I gave her with a syringe (without needle).
I saw the light return in her eyes, and for a brief moment she opened her inner world to me and showed me, that she (the dying one) changed place with another SheRa in a parallel reality. What we did was buying time so she could switch place, so she died in another reality. She said that our time was not over yet).
Deep within me was a struggle - I was considering if I should close her door, so she did not go out to die alone. But I managed to control myself, and to honor her ways. At dinner time I decided to make her favorite dish - oven-fried salmon steak. She was very appreciative, and after dinner she went off. I saw her leave, and I saw she turned to take one final look at me.
At dusk I went out to our favorite spot - a peaceful green area with a giant, old oak tree with little bushes. She was lying there in her death process. I sat down quietly next to her without speaking. I knew she knew I was there. I called in Golden Christ energies, and anchored a 12-sided pyramid around us. I called in the Christ in Nature, asking for help and stating, that I intended to journey with SheRa - do the death walk, as I had done for so many, humans included.
While we were sitting there I consciously projected out pictures of our experiences together, and the joy she had brought into my life. Whe she left her physical body I greeted her from the other side, and took her in my arms. SheRa and I had a vision - that I would walk the Starry Staircase with her in my arms, and together we would enter the Great Solar Temple. And so we did.
After having seen her enter the Eternal Flame on the altar of the Great Solar Temple, I returned to my physical reality. I picked up her little body and carried it home, while I cried oceans and rivers.
For two nights night I burned candles for SheRa, and sang and toned her remains Home. On the third day I found her big "feliner" - a big dog size luxury transporter with wall-to-wall carpet, built-in toilet etc. . I placed her little body in it, and called the crematorium for an appointment. I wanted her cremated alone. On my way to the crematorium I stopped to buy roses for her.
Next day I picked up her ashes in an urn, and along with people who knew her and had loved her I drove to the sea. Here we sat and sang some of SheRa's favorite songs (she loved when I sang to her), then scattered her ashes to the winds over the sea, and sent up balloons with Blessings and Love.
- There!! I have finally managed to write about it ..............
Love & Serenity To You